a beating heart

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I went to the Doctor this morning (nothing serious). As the nurse was taking my vitals she was called to help another patient and she left me alone in the exam room wearing a pulse oximeter on my finger.

I sat in silence and listened to my heart beating aloud.

I sat in silence and smiled. I like an audible reminder of the delicate and intricate systems that keep me in existence. I forget. What if I could hear the network of messages relaying in and out of my brain? What if I could hear the oxygen being converted to C02 in my lungs with every inhale/exhale? What if I could hear my white blood cells mobilizing, or my muscle fibers rebuilding in greater strength? Would it change the way I lived?

Hearing my heartbeat out loud today made me thankful.

Hearing it encouraged me that I am more vigorous and vital than I sometimes feel.

Hearing it made me determine again to live in such a way so as to not waste one day. Ever.

I had an amazing little coastal escape last weekend, and this morning as I heard my heart beating, it left me feeling so glad that I had seized the opportunity to go. I felt affirmed that I am indeed using every heart beat for loving, and learning, and appreciating, and maybe even a little adventuring too. 

Listen to your heart.

6 things we always take to the park

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+ a good sturdy blanket. {ours is similar, i bought it at costco a few years ago.} i cannot tell you how much use ours has gotten. waterproof is key, and it's nice if it is easy to fold up too. ours just always stays in the car.

+ food. lots and lots and lots of food. nothing kills a great day at the park like unending complaints about being hungry. i find that my kids are more apt to eat healthy when we pack our lunch. "I'm sorry, that's all I brought guys." and so they eat the carrots and hummus.

+ water. for the same said reason above. we gather up every available water bottle and fill them at the house before we leave. we bring them home empty almost every time. 

+ open-ended art supplies. sketch books, colored pencils, clip boards {for portability}, watercolors, glue, etc. when the playground gets old and the snacks are all gone, a little project can buy you some more time on your blanket while the kids are occupied. let them make a mess. you don't really have to worry about cleaning much of it up. 

+ my camera. often times I will let the kids take turns {carefully} using it to shoot things that interest them. sometimes i give them an assignment, "go see if you can find something red...." or "see if you can get a good action shot of your brother swinging." they love uploading and editing.

+ things to read. we bring stuff to lounge and read, books to study, and books for inspiration. 

grattitude

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Over the weekend:

I spent a sweet Friday evening on the patio with my friend Clara and her growing belly. She let me rub it. Friends/birthing assistants are allowed those kinds of privileges.

I inhaled a little backyard campfire.

I taught a birthing class workshop.

I bought fresh flowers from the farmer's market.

I took a 4 hour Saturday afternoon nap in a soft bed by a sunny window.

I had uninterrupted conversation (rare) with one of my very very best friends on the planet. (Thank you Dzhan and Jamie for being so great)

I witnessed some supremely awesome breakdancing which made me laugh so hard.

I feasted on blueberry pancakes and REAL country bacon.

I hiked solo through the most insane amount of beautiful wildflowers...

And this was the view from the top of the Sauer Mountain Trail. Just gorgeous.  

I sat there for a long time feeling so grateful for a beautiful day, a restful weekend, and lots of lovely people who have been so kind over the last weeks. Thank you friends for your words of love and encouragement to me. It means everything.